[Dog doing something I don’t want him to do]
Me: No
Dog: “Dear Sir or Madam: Thank you for your thoughts on the matter. We shall take them under advisement.”
Genie: you get three wishes
Dog: I wish I was inside
Genie: two wishes
Dog: I wish I was outside
Genie: one wish
Dog:
Genie:
Dog: I wish I was inside
#ImNotWorriedCuz I’ve got a license
Nothing says warm summer days like choosing between drinking a bottle of ice-cold kombucha or ranch
it’s okay if the earth is flat i’m round enough for both of us
I know we are supposed to be worried about AI but I’ve been watching my Roomba throw itself off the stairs every single time I’ve ever used it I think we’re OK for a minute
They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself.
I gave brutally honest script notes to a close friend and he really respected me for ending the friendship.
They should make statues of regular people. Like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff
Maybe it’s love, or maybe she just can’t unclasp that damn bracelet on her wrist without help
This probably isn’t good
I’m convinced a lot of people here are communicating from prison.
if you’re not easily offended, why are you even here?
If I go in my purse and pull out items solely by shape, I never know if it’s gonna be a pen, a tampon, or a stick of beef jerky.
If you didn’t want a bunch of dads to meander into your backyard, then you shouldn’t have revved up that chainsaw, Dale