Feeling invisible and unnoticed?
Put in your ear buds and they won’t shut the hell up.
Tiktok made twitter look like a science club.
[opening birthday presents]
me: …is this another dead cat?schrödinger: *way too excited* we don’t know until you open it!
Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.
I’ve licked my tip many times and sometimes it leaves a blue, red and sometimes green mark on my tongue, I mean we’ve all had those multicoloured pens before……
I think
Therefore I am
Tongue tied
when you say the word “spit” you have at least two opportunities to do so
Did this writing exercise where you write 300 words about a place without using any adjectives. It’s actually pretty easy if you’re not sure what an adjective is.
My wife said we need to go buy some more mulch for the garden. I’m just going to take the kids to the playground instead. When we get home I’ll empty out their pockets and we’ll have enough wood chips to cover the entire garden.
It’s been a while since I’ve flown out of the Nashville airport. It’s mayhem. The bachelorette parties have continued into the terminal. Just saw a bro getting escorted out by police, he had pissed himself and was joyfully saying “trust me. Y’all WANT me on that plane!”
I don’t need a boyfriend, I need someone to roll me up in a carpet and throw me off a cliff.
I’m not like other girls, I know when I’m being irrational. I don’t let it stop me, but still