Expecting your first baby’s exciting but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?
was reading about defunct airlines again and i can’t believe they named it this
wow, another wooden ball. would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there.
[first day as a scientist]
*accidentally finishes science*
We need more people like this.
Genuinely no idea what to expect here.
Gollum is like, “actually this is my emotional support precious.”
seems fine
There was a time I thought Radiohead was saying “I’m a creep, I’m a widow” and one day I heard someone sing the right word and well, only a freakin’ weirdo would think widow makes sense there, right.
If you wake me with a text at 5am, I will answer you because I’m helpful but the answer will be that night at 2am because I’m also vengeful.
I need to stop saying “oppa gagnam style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation
Wow. I got my first #ChatGPT-written paper for an undergrad assignment on positionality. This line was the tell: “I do not have a personal history, identity, or culture in the traditional sense because I am an artificial intelligence language model.” Ooof!
Me, to my dog who is throwing up at the dog park: Bro, you are being so cringe in front of your friends.
Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.
Please stop adding touchscreens to cars most of these idiots can barely drive as it is