How do I know I’m awkward? One time someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “cheese”
Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dogs listen.
Dogs don’t think ‘no’ is a suggestion.
millennials had years of computer classes where it was drilled into us “THE INTERNET IS FOREVER” and “DON’T OPEN SPAM EMAILS” and “CITE YOUR SOURCES” and then boomers were given internet access like tossing keys to a drunk and telling them to have fun.
me when I leave a friend on read: They get it. I’m overwhelmed. I isolate. I need a day to think. The kids keep me busy. I’ve got 7 appointments this week. They understand.
me when a friend leaves me on read: OMG THEY HATE MY GUTS
why neck hurt
weaknesses
A classic spooky scribbles now in color 🧙♀️
good news everyone
So how much budgie food do you actually want?…
can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.
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live footage of daylight savings taking the sun away at 4pm
List of things my kids wanna talk about at bedtime
I’m quiet and not good at confrontation with neighbors, so I renamed our wifi: Beth & Greg, Why The Fuck Did You Have To Get A Rooster?