It feels like Duolingo is giving me writing prompts for a very specific story
umbrellas are great if you only wanna get wet sideways.
When you’re married, it’s important for you both to work on keeping the magic alive and chained up in the basement where it can’t escape.
Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life” and it’s just they were told to unload the dishwasher.
Once a lap dog, always a lap dog
The floor after my kids eat one granola bar
Nice echo chamber you got there. Be a shame if someone were to….DISAGREE WITH YOU.
Never considered this before, but I might be a “local woman”
My baby’s daycare teacher said tomorrow is pajama day which is awkward because I send him wearing pajamas every day
People who use any other buttons on your microwave besides 30 Seconds default one, explain yourselves!
Autocorrect just changed “lady parts” to “lazy parts” and I didn’t wanna change it back because it’s not wrong, to be honest.
I’ve never seen any of the fast/furious movies. I’m waiting til they are done, so I can watch them in reverse order, so they gradually get less insane