To the person trying to hack my account, I’ve just been sent this verification code: 928377.
Hope that helps.
Have you ever gone hiking through the mountains for several days? When you finally arrive at your campsite and you drop the 40lb sack you’ve been carrying on your back, you feel reborn. You feel free again. Anyways, both of my kids are staying with their grandparents this week.
Hawk o the mornin tuah
Why are clothes so expensive? It should not cost this much to not be naked. As a matter of fact, people should be paying me not to be naked.
Oh sure so it’s okay for Jesus to raise people back from the dead, but when I, Victor Frankenstein,
“Mommy why does Santa’s handwriting look like the tooth fairy’s handwriting?”
11: dad I have a confession
me: oh boy. What.
11: last night before you said it was bedtime I made a plate of nachos and put them under my bed. Then I ate them after bed time
me: 😂 how did you get your brother not to tattle?
9: I paid him off in nachos
People clown on Sun Tzu for giving really basic and obvious advice but keep in mind that emperors and nobles at the time were drinking mercury to become immortal. I think he knew his audience.
Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.
He’s making a list,
And checking it twice,
You’re gonna find number 12
Very hard to believe.
Santa Clause is working
for Buzzfeed.
You don’t scare me. You’re not a trip to Costco on the weekend 10 days before Christmas.
is the cheesecake factory menu on audible bc i’m not reading all that.
if i gave birth in a barn and then a little boy came in and started playing the drums I would throw the baby at him
Cooking a roast dinner is much better than having one cooked for you, because you can eat pretty much a whole extra serving while you’re making it. For instance, I just “tested” three roast potatoes. Next I’m going to test a Yorkshire pudding.
Such a cozy feeling to learn the reason your kid can’t sleep is because they hear whispers in their room.