Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.
Them: How corny are your jokes?
Me: Pretty corny
Nobody:
Shampoo bottle when I’m in the shower:
why does this picture look like abed accidentally transported into gilmore girls and not that the actor is actually in this scene
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Imagine having a cool ass name like Theodore, and then people just call you Ted.
They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out
Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.
The most accurate map ever devised.
The left. The right. The ambidextrous. Politics is so confusing.
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stop complaining about your life. There are literally people living in Iowa.
Every
Single
Year
Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads
People who put jam AND marmalade on toast are polyjamorous.