Etiquette advice please: I can smell that my neighbour’s grilling burgers
Do I bring my own paper plate or is he obligated to provide one
No I don’t want to “just follow you” give me the damn address.
i hate it when my daughter is suddenly nice to me because I know it’s just a first calculated step in impending negotiations
(with the most anger i’ve ever experienced in my life) ok sounds good
[dark alley]
ME: someone told me that you knew how to fry rice
SHRIMP: [takes long drag from cigarette, murders me]
I need my next partner to be absolutely looney tunes for me. Like, heart exploding from chest, tongue rolling out into a carpet, bonking themselves on the head with a hammer when they see me until little birds circle them, etc etc
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
…but it’s just me attempting to recover silverware from my teenage son’s bedroom.
Why does life keep trying to teach me patience? I don’t want to learn patience!
Koala bears can sleep up to 20 hours a day, which means they’re only a few hours short of having a perfect day.
13: mum, I fell in P.E and hurt my leg… and Chloe saw me face plant.
Me: aw, baby, don’t be embarrassed… it happens.
13: I know, mum… I got up, looked her dead in the eye, and said “look at that, Chloe, I scraped my knee falling for you!”
Do I fail parenting now?
A documentary about how the band Hanson exploded onto the music scene in the 90s, call it MmmBoppenheimer.
Apparently “make it to retirement” is not an appropriate answer for what your work goals are
I enjoy holding the door open for people who are far away so they feel like they have to run a little.
My favorite thing is when my husband asks me to help him cook and then ignores literally everything I suggest and doesn’t like the resulting meal 😭
I just watched a YouTuber apology video where the lady played a ukulele and said “the only thing I ever groomed was my two Persian cats.”