I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.
If there are ladies out there into bad boys, look no further. I’m now watching a show despite it being for mature audiences only.
3yo: Mommy I peed in the bathroom!
Me: That’s great pal! …. Wait in the toilet?
3:…
Me: Did. You. Pee. In. The. Toilet?
3:…
People who have a protected account but comment on tweets, I have one thing to say to you:
At ease
problems i need
If my 56 y/o brain was in my 16 y/o body, my first order of business would be empowering myself. Then … fake ID.
me: I’m sorry, I just don’t have the mental energy to keep trying to fix you
dinner ingredients:
no i don’t subtweet, i voodoo doll like a real adult.
Welcome to your 40s.
If you don’t have a back pain, one will be assigned to you.
You’re never alone. Theres mold
3 came up to me and asked for all the water in the house and then 4 came up to me and asked for all the paper towels in the house so I’m probably going to have to move.