I’m not “passive aggressive”… would a passive aggressive person put glitter in your air vents?
No, I haven’t seen any dogs
What if there were a liquid that tasted like acidic, sour dirt?
– inventor of cranberry juice
I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.
the thing about having a toddler is that sometimes you open the dryer and there are 20 cans of cat food in it
starting conversations with short people by saying “back when i was your height…”
My 20mo came in while I was giving 4yo a bath w a bath bomb. “Pink bath?” She asked, dumbfounded. My husband took her to her room but seconds later she came thundering down the hall, pointing, blinded by the injustice, “PINK BATH!!” She yelled and tried to climb in fully clothed.
applying for a new job
“My wife’s just made breakfast using the hot bread cooky thing.”
“Toaster?”
“Ladies and gentlemen, to my wife!”
“Get out”.
are americans worse off?
in 2012, j crew’s bowery chino cost $79.50. today, the giant chino is $98. that’s a ~23% increase in price but 800% more chino.
I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.
Was dancing with a lad last night, and his mates dragged him away for the last train home… he said “my names Maff I’m from Kettering, find me”… imagine if life were that easy 😅
you should get a pension for having to go to school for 12 years
Woman on the mom forum wants to start a weekly play date club (good idea!) and another woman chimed in:
“Is it so you can steal information about women’s husbands so you can cheat with them, like how you cheated with mine?”
And now my Sunday just got MUCH more interesting!
