I used to hate the “Kids on Board” stickers for cars. I now understand they are warning us they will be driving erratically because…you know…KIDS ON BOARD!
I’m usually a smart man but when my wife went into labor with our first born I brought my laptop to the hospital because my Farmville crops needed to be harvested before they died. She really had bad timing with that whole “labor” thing.
Me: I’d like to apologise for my behaviour
Host: No need, you haven’t done anything wrong
Me: I haven’t started yet
If Reese’s eggs are buy one get one free, there are 0 calories associated with the free one. Live free my friends.
Please make sure your kid’s middle name pairs well with their first name because you’ll be yelling that combo more than you think.
My 4 year old daughter is in the tub screaming song requests at Alexa like a drunk divorcee
I hate it when a man uses me for sex and conversations and raising children and growing old together
I want to know what the cat was doing that made the animal control officer be like, you know what, I think this cat just destroyed an 8-ball.
Starting a YouTube channel where I’ll react to people reacting to people reacting to reaction videos.
Guy who treats establishing shots like people on here treat sex scenes. Rolls his eyes any time we see a building’s exterior. “The characters are inside. Why do we need to see what the house looks like from the street.” Loudly groans whenever someone pulls up somewhere in a car
What the hell happened here.
Room with a view.