I told my kid if he plays my drums again there will be repercussions
And send
I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at perpendicular parking.
A woman on tiktok joked her house was haunted and then was digging in her backyard to build a firepit and came across a rug buried 2.5 feet deep and was urged to call police who sent 2 cadaver dogs and they both signaled for a dead body and now half her yard’s a crime scene
trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating
Fun things to try with your loved ones #32145
If you find yourself with a friend or a family member in an enclosed space such as a car or an elevator:
1)Release a ‘silent but deadly’ fart
2)Ask them, “Hey! Do you smell popcorn?!”They inhale deeply…
Roses are pink
Violets are red
Get on your knees
And do what I said
I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects
Hear me out.
CROUTON BANGLES.
We have the technology.
Going to buy several and turn them into a casserole to pass out on Halloween
It’s not a question of when will my daughter say mommy, it’s a question of when won’t she
Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.
y’all made fun of plankton on spongebob for dating a computer and look at y’all now 💀
Me: I’ve learned so much from my mistakes.
Also me: Let’s make a few more
i broke into my neighbors house and put one (1) pringle in their bag of lays potato chips
