This is me
She was REALLY feeling it.
Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.
A field full of rams , really sounds like a ewe problem
Don’t tell me how to live my life, box.
Look at this
*goes into cardiac arrest to avoid small talk with the EMTs*
“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”
When he asks for feet pics
it’s dangerous to go alone. take this with you
Chemical wingman
Having a kid means knowing when she asks to watch Mr. Handsome, she means The Little Mermaid.
I saw an audiologist today, but I think I’ll get a second opinion. Why on earth would I need a heron egg?
Waiter: hi I’m Dave and I’ll be taking care of you
Me: I’ve been hurt before, dave