Casual: Rob a bank
Fancy: Robert a bank
I drew y’all a little something.
Hey guys, I almost did a backflip today!
EMT: Please try not to speak, sir.
HR said no more nunchucks.
Hide and seek but only they forget to look for you.
Them:
Me: damn I picked a good spot.
My husband likes a hot breakfast on Sunday, so I lit his cornflakes on fire.
Where is my emotional support mac n cheese when I need it?
Told the kids it’s gonna cost them $8/month to keep using my last name.
[ interview ]
cable company: where do you see yourself in five years
me: you mean between 3 and 8 years from now?
cable company: when can you start
me: between monday and july
I don’t know if this is just an Italian thing but I have the complete inability to cook for less than 2,116 people at a time.
I wouldn’t know what to do with a member even if I caught one
*screaming at the smoke alarm*
DOES THIS SEEM HELPFUL TO YOU???
Today I learned you can use disposable
masks to brew espresso.That’s because they’re coughy filters.