If I sold everything I own I could probably take that $137 and get a fresh start somewhere.
So tired this morning that I think I tried to make a call with a Pop-Tart.
Is this a make-up removing cloth or 60 grit sandpaper?
WELL, THEY NEED TO WALK A BIT QUICKER THEN, DON’T THEY?
I’ve put the garden waste wheelie bin out. I’ve no idea if it’s getting collected today but everyone else in the street has now done the same just in case.
Me: Porcelain. Earthenware. Stoneware. Ball Clay.
Wife: What are you doing?
Me: Reciting pottery.
🤭😂
Damn what did I do next
A tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches in the area.
I began speaking English with a French intonation after a fender bender. Well, I guess accents will happen.
Please don’t delete your tweet. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.
found a note in my phone of an idea that just says “birdwatcher with an anger problem” and now I’m wondering what the triggers would be. bird is too far? bird is the same bird every time and you only ever see 1 bird? i’ll keep thinking about it
Me: I live on an Emu farm.
Them: are all of the animals really sad?
Me: Emu not emo.