Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru it just depends how committed to the task you are.
Papa Bear: this is the best porridge ever? What’s the secret ingredient?
Mama Bear: remember that whiny brat that kept complaining about the temperature?
I was called charming yesterday and I will not stand idly by for these bullshit accusations.
I could totally take Beethoven in a fight even if he wasn’t dead.
“you have to sleep when the baby sleeps” but that’s when i go through the baby’s phone ???
I hate hotel bath towels.
So thick and fluffy I can’t even close my suitcase!!
Three thousand years have passed. Mia’s son has merged with a sandworm and rules the wastes of Genovia as a god
Valuable child raising tip from the New York Times
💀💀
How do I know I’m awkward? One time someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “cheese”
Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dogs listen.
Dogs don’t think ‘no’ is a suggestion.
millennials had years of computer classes where it was drilled into us “THE INTERNET IS FOREVER” and “DON’T OPEN SPAM EMAILS” and “CITE YOUR SOURCES” and then boomers were given internet access like tossing keys to a drunk and telling them to have fun.
me when I leave a friend on read: They get it. I’m overwhelmed. I isolate. I need a day to think. The kids keep me busy. I’ve got 7 appointments this week. They understand.
me when a friend leaves me on read: OMG THEY HATE MY GUTS
why neck hurt
weaknesses
