Me: “watching an exercise reel on instagram” I could do that
My body: are you serious? have you seen us?
It’s okay to have a favorite child, especially if one of your kids is great at baking.
I love furniture from the Edward Ian period. 😂
I played the computer game Elite as a kid. Asked my Dad what Narcotics were and thought he said “Rugs”. Spent ages wondering why my carpet trading caused so much space police activity. Didn’t realise until years later.
buying a used car and telling people it’s a rescue
We have this problem in Skye. Not a family round here hasn’t lost a baby or a dog to the eagles. We just don’t whine about it all the time. Southerners. 🙄
Man sits by me on train.
MAN: Loads of psychopaths around here
ME: Really?
MAN: Loads mate
ME: How’d you know?
MAN: There’s signs aren’t there?
ME: I guess?
MAN: I love them
(47 minutes of awkward silence.)
Man leaves train, he has a bike. I realise he was saying ‘cycle paths’.
dead inside
Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.
Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make
This comic I made in 2015 is my dads favorite comic in the entire world and every October he asks me to post it again… happy Halloween dad 🎃
👮♂️New comic: Good Cop, Bad Cop👮♂️
