People are going to get tired of these AI chatbots, because nobody likes a know-it-all.
detective: where’s that footage from the silo robbery?
me: i deleted it.
detective: why?
me: it was all grainy.
Me: So now you will deep dive into my lore?
Interviewer: Well, we call it a background check, but sure.
Good morning
Ok…who left the bag of idiots open?
Since the first one was such a smash hit, why didn’t they ever make a Titanic 2?
Son: Facebook is for old people.
Me: That’s not true, pretty much everyone I know is on i- …oh…
Run yourself luxurious baths, while you’re still young and fit to climb in and out!
My wife working in our garden: How does it look?
Me: Well that’s the last place I ever expected to see throw pillows.
I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.
impressing her on a first date by using no knife but two forks
A woman who works at a cafe I frequent saw me in public and recognized me, but she doesn’t know my name, so she said, “Hey! No tomatoes!”
Why did I laugh so hard at this 😂