Only sending condolence cards when someone dies is not enough. We need a range of cards that enable us to sympathise with people about smaller things too
on da cob, we all corn
Would you eat from the Hummus Truck?
Humans were not meant to have this many passwords
women don’t pretend to dig for something in their purse and pull out their middle finger anymore
A Brady Bunch prequel, but it’s a dark Netflix series about what really happened to Mike and Carol’s first spouses.
Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest
new dr. seuss book dropping:
Very funny that the new Batman movies are rated PG-13 but the Penguin HBO series isn’t so in context it just looks like everyone is too polite to curse around Batman
“And we shall call it Kansas City”
Cuz it’s in Kansas?
“No it will be located in Missouri.”
What will we call the neighboring city across the river?
“Kansas City, Kansas”
one week till the election
Bro thinks that’s his job 🥹
Wrote a song and it goes a little something like this… Who put maple syrup on the caaaaat?