Starting to get the feeling like there is a fennel cabal out there forcing chefs to put fennel in as many dishes as possible, this fennel conspiracy hurts all of us
You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.
Honey, someone thinks I’m subtweeting them again..
Honey?
monday
This hand cream is expired, but it tastes completely fine.
I just finished doing a 30 minute workout – ten minutes looking for my glasses, 15 minutes squeezing into my yoga pants and 5 minutes on the treadmill.
Some people wear a big oversize coat and a woolly hat, and look trendy. I wear a big oversize coat and a woolly hat, and look homeless.
Told my kid I was going to check her room because she told me she cleaned it, and she negotiated a five minute head start in case she “missed something.”
Me: *Gets my kids the exact same thing to avoid arguments*
*argument ensues*
“I’m not falling for that again” I say as I’m about to fall for whatever that is, again
I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist and inside…my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.
Yeah. Spring cleaning is going well, thanks.
I’m a lady and a single parent. If I ever make a joke about having a big load, I guarantee it’s about laundry.
When someone trying to leave me
