You’re going to have to be just a tiny bit more specific for me, bud
chatgpt is an answer to the “older cousin deficit” we didn’t know we had. we need someone to tell us, with utmost confidence, that cockroaches can live for 3 years without a head, that smoking peanut shells gets you high, the *truth* about how katanas are made, with no sources.
Grandparents these days decide to be called things like Nana or Papa or Mimi but why stop there? I’m going to make my grandkids call me Bobcat.
they’re trying to stop me from entering the movie theater with my spoon and a half a watermelon.
Every time I look into baby carriages, there’s always an INFANT inside and never a very small, old-timey gangster smoking a cigar.
Disappointing.
In case you were looking for a sign to lock your car doors – this is it
You’ve just gotta remember, some things don’t work out so you can make room for the things that will.
If both don’t work out…eat a cake.
Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down
The Amazon driver drove right by my house without dropping off a package.
He’s got some nerve.
#BlowsMyMind how straight of a line I can walk
The accuracy #BlowsMyMind
The thought that I’m the human’s pet #BlowsMyMind
british twitter be like “oi, you bought a blue tick for 11 pounds innit m8 🤣”
ME: *slides envelope across the table
COP: *opening it* This is half a ticket to an MC Hammer concert from 1990
ME: You’ll get the other half when I’m out of here