Wow. I got my first #ChatGPT-written paper for an undergrad assignment on positionality. This line was the tell: “I do not have a personal history, identity, or culture in the traditional sense because I am an artificial intelligence language model.” Ooof!
Me, to my dog who is throwing up at the dog park: Bro, you are being so cringe in front of your friends.
Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.
Please stop adding touchscreens to cars most of these idiots can barely drive as it is
#ParentingFacts
[being murdered]
Me: hey Alexa, how about a little mood music over here
Whenever I get my hair cut I always take a ‘before and after’ photo outside the barber’s shop. Here’s the latest…
If the doctor doesn’t know and just refers you to another doctor, they should refund you.
me: do you take walk-ins
morgue: what
My unemployed friends on a Wednesday at 1:30pm
When I was younger I was into athletics. I miss the guys from the 4x400m relay team. We ran in the same circles.
shopping channels are insane. they be like “today we have this delightful egg peeler that can also be used as a non slip shower mat”
DOG: *prancing and enthusiastically wagging*
WIFE: the dog got the mail again
ME: damn, why does she only chew up the ones addressed to me?
WIFE: because she knows you hate bills
ME: …
DOG: *still wagging*
ME: WHO’S A GOOD GIRL?!
Absolutely delighted that our new Baggage Handling facilities are cutting waiting times.
