Roses are pink
Violets are red
Get on your knees
And do what I said
I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects
Hear me out.
CROUTON BANGLES.
We have the technology.
Going to buy several and turn them into a casserole to pass out on Halloween
It’s not a question of when will my daughter say mommy, it’s a question of when won’t she
Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.
y’all made fun of plankton on spongebob for dating a computer and look at y’all now 💀
Me: I’ve learned so much from my mistakes.
Also me: Let’s make a few more
i broke into my neighbors house and put one (1) pringle in their bag of lays potato chips
it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here
I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.
You know what they never show in superhero movies or comics? How do flying heroes know where they are? You’re too high up to see landmarks or street signs. I’m pretty sure I’d have to fly with my phone out the whole time.