I THOUGHT IT WAS AN EDIBLE
went fishing caught a bass
my grandma has a secret tuna casserole recipe that involves a 911 call
Which letter is the silent one in the word “scent?”
Is it the “S” or the “C?”
hey friend,
the list of things you texted me that you’d do for a Klondike bar has me concernedlet’s talk
An eel can swim faster than me, but i could probably run faster than an eel. So in a triathlon it would all come down to who is the better cyclist
When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.
Happy Star Wars day!
obi-wan: anakin has turned to the dark side what should we do???
yoda: raise his son to murder him we could
in a really good place right now!! (ordered something off the sandwich menu and it turned out to be a “toast” and i almost started crying)
lost another rap battle bc i couldn’t rhyme anything with arthritis
I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.
This might damage our relationship but I don’t use ketchup on fries
