ah, yes. the elusive llamarshmallow.
Me: ooooohhhh look at all the colorful new spring clothes!
Also me: *buys another black t-shirt*
Friday is Cinco de Mayo. White people haven’t been this excited about tacos since Tuesday
Son’s journal entry
💯 sweet 💯 inaccurate on all counts
In case you’re wondering it takes a 6 year old approximately 20 min to pick out a bunch of bananas at the supermarket
Whenever I leave a public bathroom I fold the toilet paper into a fancy triangle to class the joint up
May the fourth be with you and if you’re married, may the back and forth be with you
With this onion ring, I thee fed
Shoutout to my upstairs neighbours for finding a loophole in the ‘no elephants’ clause in their lease
Cold.
Warm.
Warm.
Warmer.
Hot.
Burning.
Cold.
Hot!Eating microwaved leftovers.
i’m crying live action simba really did not gaf
Us: Hey. Can you show us tweets from people we follow
Twitter: Best I can do is unblock your mortal enemy
You’re like if “nope” was a person.