Shoutout to my upstairs neighbours for finding a loophole in the ‘no elephants’ clause in their lease
Cold.
Warm.
Warm.
Warmer.
Hot.
Burning.
Cold.
Hot!Eating microwaved leftovers.
i’m crying live action simba really did not gaf
Us: Hey. Can you show us tweets from people we follow
Twitter: Best I can do is unblock your mortal enemy
You’re like if “nope” was a person.
Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job
I’m going on a shiny hair journey. It doesn’t seem as if my hair is going with me, but I’m going.
Here lies a mother, her struggle was valiant but in the end the laundry pile was too big and she couldn’t claw her way out
My teen son told me that he plans on talking like Chewbacca if a teacher calls on him today, so I guess I better start practicing my Wookiee for that parent teacher phone call later today.
Of course being a child is terrible .. They don’t give you any money and then make you watch commercials the whole time
What, this is my emotional support rabid wolf
[cat and dog meet for negotiations]
Mediator: We’re just beginning this process, so right now everything is on the table.
Cat: *smiles*
Dog: Oh no.
greetings!