Autocorrect just changed “lady parts” to “lazy parts” and I didn’t wanna change it back because it’s not wrong, to be honest.
I’ve never seen any of the fast/furious movies. I’m waiting til they are done, so I can watch them in reverse order, so they gradually get less insane
still not “these beanie babies are going to be worth so much later on” rich and it hurts.
ME: *Buying unnecessary & expensive gadget*
CASHIER: How will you be paying for this?
ME: Probably with an argument and no sex for a month
I love the National Park Service.
We need to put an American base on the sun
ChatGPT cannot be stopped.
I mean…but I did
Am I unemployed … or just playing hard to get with capitalism
me: *stabs vampire*
wife: omg
me: *beats zombie to death*
wife: OMG
me: what
wife: ur supposed to give them candy
Just found a pot of houmous by the side of the road
“Waitress!”
Waitress: “Sir?”
“Could you check the rest-room? My date has been gone 2 hours. Also, her coat has been stolen”
*Goes to Nirvana themed
“Come as you are” Party**Gets arrested for indecent exposure*
Story of my life…..
