Story of my life…..
I’m so down for anne frank demon slayer
If I’ve learned anything from Disney, it’s this:
If you happen across a woman’s corpse, in the forest? Kiss it.
There are some “IDIOTS” in this world, That Always Reply “NO” to every question we ask them….
now tell me, Are you one of Them?
Cookie Monster first year: Cookie Rookie
Cookie Monster skip school: Cookie Hookie
Cookie Monster be sad: Cookie Sookie
Cookie Monster has a poo: Cookie Dookie
Cookie Monster does a sex: Cookie Nookie
Have you ever cropped a picture as you texted it; the crop didn’t stick and now your wife is asking who that woman is?
Spending a lazy afternoon methodically eating the plastic flowers from the vase in the hotel lobby
Every single time I mow my lawn my neighbor starts mowing his within ten minutes. Do I have a rival dad? Is this war?
How can a cemetery raise its burial charges and blame it on the cost of living?
I bought my dad some mugs with little ceramic doggos at the bottom. He just handed me coffee, but, ‘I can’t fill it up more than that or the dog will drown.’
If you took a billionaire’s money away, they would just earn it back again. Cream rises to the top.
I’m so confident about this, I think we should prove it by taking all the billionaires’ money away.
I’m not stressed
i wonder if jesus thinks about me when he’s on the toilet or if it’s a one way street
The concentration of salt in ham is so high, you could float on a lake of ham and never sink.