If my dude is messaging you.. he’s your dude..
Keep. Him. 😂
I read a list earlier today of toxic things one should avoid
Anyway, thought of you
Why isn’t there an egg flavored Gatorade you cowards?
There’s a class war brewing on the farm. It’s the hooves and the hoof nots.
Friend was telling me a story of how she made her parents drive around to 4 different places looking for a hot dog “with skin”. They kept trying to explain that they all have skin. Turns out what she wanted was a corn dog.
Remember that great stick you found that one summer when you were a kid? You carried it everywhere. The bark worn smooth with constant handling. It made the perfect WOOSH sound when you swung it hard. It made you feel so strong.
Man, I wish they still made sticks.
Don’t be mean to people. With the way the economy is going, you might have to eat those people and your anger is just going to make their meat all stressed out and stringy. Choose love.
I hope this email finds you in a well
Why do drugs after 30 when you can just stand up too fast?
I would like to see “artificial intelligence” assemble this tuna melt.
Aging is like oh look a new cute freckle on the palm of my hand is it cancer
At my funeral I want there to be a big ‘live laugh love’ sign with the ‘live’ crossed out
