Day 6 of April vacation: husband and I had this idea that if we get divorced and each marry someone willing to be an involved step-parent, we would have more time to hang out with each other.
I never ran away from home but when I was six I asked everyone else in the house to move out.
this was the best i’ve ever seen
I’ve watched this over 100 times and I still can’t figure out how he did this
10yo checking the weather app:
OH F-Me: LANGUAGE!
10: -OG!
Me: ohhh my bad, carry on
My kid, “mumma, what is ‘u’ doing in the spelling of a building?”.
Cake!!
Saw one of the most deranged Facebook ads of my life yesterday
I sure talk a lot of shit for someone who got a stress fracture opening a can of butter beans
I worked at Subway many years ago and one night a lady brought in her own cheese for me to use on her sub
I don’t work for the health department so I did it anyway
Welcome to parenting, “your kid bangs his head while sneezing and it is somehow your fault.”
People on LinkedIn on a Saturday.
Who. Hurt. You?
Give me a minute, I’m still fighting the urge to bless a stranger who sneezed
Save a horse, ride a wave of anxiety.
Being 30 is fun because I’m kind of grown up, but I also still secretly believe I would be a good Spider-Man if the opportunity presented itself