this could fix me
the worst part of getting fired from the unemployment office is still having to go in the next day
“If people work from home, how will I socialize?” You will have to go into the forest, bribe an old witch & have her summon new friends for you like the rest of us have to
knowing stuff is probably the worst thing you could do for your mental health
The Count of Monte Cristo remains popular because it speaks to that universal human desire to flex on everyone you went to school with
Want to feel old? This is what the vampires from Buffy the Vampire Slayer look like now.
Why couldn’t the Italian chef open the door?
Because he had gnocchi
*quietly waits for the reply guys
How to care for cast iron properly:
1. You’re an adult do whatever you want. Don’t let strangers on the internet tell you what to do it’s a frying pan not a Rembrandt!
2. Don’t you dare put it in the dishwasher.
Cats do not subscribe to the laws of physics.
WARNING: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.
I used to hold the flashlight for my dad, but now I hold the flashlight for myself. I still can’t see anything. The same amount of swearing is involved.
Basketball
There’s a tiktok ad I keep seeing that’s like “STOP SPENDING $200 ON SUNGLASSES.” Ok done. Easiest task I’ve ever been given
Everyone knows someone with a shelter dog that is 50% Chihuahua and 50% 8 other breeds that is calmer than any other dog in the world and lives to 25. Everyone likes them. The dog is always called like Squirt or something