BREAKING: I am a medical miracle
If you or someone you love have gone to work today, you may be entitled compensation.
Taking a break from my mental health so I can focus on Twitter
In what room do you guys hang the portrait of yourself as a centaur? I was thinking kitchen. The bedroom is kinda cliche
is this how new cars are made??
I believe this to be the best photograph of a dog ever taken in human history.
I’ll do anything for you as long as I don’t have to get out of this chair.
What’s a vampire’s favorite ship?
A blood vessel…
women in PHLEGM (Philosophy, History, Languages, English Literature, Geography, Music)
im not pinning my selfies. forage for me like a little rat
Whosoever eateth the last brownie shall forever be shamed
So Ive started a sarcasm club.
It would mean the world to me if you joined.
Play monopoly on the first date so you know what you’re getting into