I̶t̶’̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶ ̶e̶a̶r̶l̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ start drinking
Mornin
My little niece ate her chocolate Easter bunny’s face because she “didn’t like the way it was looking at her”
I’m locking my bedroom door tonight
I’m only watching this show to see if anyone knocks over that poorly placed houseplant.
It’s bedtime so naturally my 6 year old is asking how many days we’ll stay alive.
why do only doctors get a special hammer for beating people with. I should be allowed to have one of these too
I thrive on chaos!
*breaks spaghetti noodles in half*
It’s polite to hold a door open for a woman, but no one specified by how much
One job requirement for a substitute bus driver is being able to navigate with directions given by 4th graders.
The outskirts implies the existence of the inpants.
Keep this between us, but I’ve snuck Don’t Speak lyrics into every relationship argument I’ve ever had.
if cat not enjoy being held… why baby sized?
My husband and I keep the spark alive in our marriage.
I send flirty pictures of stuff I want to buy and he sends flirty little messages like, “I thought we agreed to save money.”
Amazed that my wife didn’t tell me that today our 8YO had a school field trip, for which both of us got multiple email reminders