They say you should throw out anything you haven’t used in six months. There goes the vacuum.
Welcome to your late 40s. You now have car glasses, office glasses, living room glasses, and bedroom glasses.
her: wanna go upstairs
me: yes
her: do u have protection
me: [nervously] why what’s up there
Parenthood is stepping in something wet in your socks.
Doc gave me new meds & I forgot what he said to do with the old meds so been taking em all and boy o boy what a day.
No one ever seems to break their legs when they drop from a portal in the sky.
was Jim off killing horses or…
Have I done my taxes? No. Have I sent myself an email with the subject line “DO TAXES”? Yes, and that is half the battle.
heavy rain in Los Angeles is a great way to find out that every roof in the city has apparently been purely decorative this entire time
80% of my day is spent saying “dishwasher” after I hear a kid throw dishes into the sink.
Me: oh yeah, obviously I want to keep it casual, too
Also me, a year after it ends: *crying to a David Gray song in my car*
me, last week when it was dark in evenings: what is the point of anything
me a week later now there is light: I am so happy to be alive so I can eat fresh mango