he’s doing your taxes
I will always post cat eating corn when I see it
Romantically smoking a postcoital cigar from both ends with your lover like in Lady and The Tramp
DEVIL: And this is the lake of lava that you’ll be spending eternity in.
ME: Actually we’re underground so it would be magma.
DEVIL: This is why you’re here you realise.
My husband and I finished another Netflix show together so now we don’t have anything in common again.
An empty box at the top of the stairs, the cat, an inevitable union.
Not😆🤣
Y’all think a holey cow makes swiss cheese?
You are not alone 💚
My mother: A high forehead is a sign of intelligence.
Me: What does that even mea—
My mother: You have a low forehead.
Anyone else’s spine sound like an accordion when they go to bend over?
No?
As I’m loudly interrogating my stuffed animals on why I’m single, I realize why I’m still single.
I finally got 10 hours of sleep. I mean it took 4 days to get there, but still.
i’m sorry this is an insane national puppy day brand interaction
