For a brief period, cats delivered mail in Belgium. During the 1970s, the city of Liège “hired” 37 cats to deliver mail in waterproof bags. As expected, the cats weren’t effective mailmen.
please tell me this song is literally about cheesecake and nothing else
*kicking off my shoes at the end of the day but my feet go with them* haha whoops
Doglike cats are some of the sweetest, most adorable creatures on the planet. Catlike dogs emerged directly from a portal to hell
Im starting to think podcasts may have been a mistake.
Me: sometimes I worry that people think I’m texting during a meeting when I take notes on my phone
My dad: I think people know I’m taking notes because I have a notepad and a pen
Someone needs to speak to the graphic designer who came up with this.
I have a date with a sexy, young doctor. Technically, it’s called an appointment. But whatever.
Please don’t block me 😂😂😂😂
*Werewolf about to eat me*
Me: I hope I give you meat sweats.
“You know what? I had a speech ready but I’m going to speak from the heart”
*smashes teleprompter with a baseball bat*
Have you spent any of your daylight savings yet?
Shakespeare: ugh! I do no want to people today
Bee: that’s funny. It doesn’t even occur to me whether or not I want to bee
Shakespeare: *discreetly taking notes
The doctor said I’m addicted to meat but I said surely it can’t do any ham?
my neighbor’s freakishly loud emu kept peeking in my window while i was trying to order an 8 ft, 132 lb chocolate sack ($500)