This sign exists because someone at some point gave the alligators hallucinogens, right?
me: i just don’t know if should i spend $35
him: on what?
me: more books
him: if you’re going to read them
me: …that’s not the point
coroner: it’s natural, just air escaping the body
my wife: could we remove the kazoo
Based Erika
Just tried out an AI Headshot generator.
Came out pretty well.
this independent good boy don’t need no human
It takes a big man to admit when he’s got a problem, but it takes an even bigger man to help me bring all these beers in from the car.
i don’t want to be the “main character” i actually want to be an extra who is there just to have fun and stand around while you deal with all the conflict
When an employer says they’re offering competitive salary I assume we’re all gonna assemble in the breakroom for medieval combat.
Horse: *tapping the hood* it’s got 400 manpower
Its 4 am and my foot fell asleep are we doing this one body part at a time now
ME: I don’t really eat any meat except for fish
DATE: oh so you’re a pescatarian
ME: ummm I guess if I’m crossing the street?
I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color