our love will go down in history
like the Hindenburg
Sorry I didn’t do something sooner, I just couldn’t tell whether you were choking or beatboxing
pro: having a lovely time visiting canada
con: nobody would believe me if i got a boyfriend here
We’re having company over today, so naturally my husband is helping me prepare by looking for the soil testing kit that he bought over a year ago.
What idiot called it a witch hunt and not the War on Seance?
me: [struggling to take off a sports bra]
other lady in the locker room: I CAN DO IT MYSELF
*getting a deli sandwich*
person making sandwich: only 1 piece of cheese?
me: yes
person: u can have 3 pieces of cheese for the same price
me: that’s ok I’m good
person: it’s FREE cheese tho
me: I don’t want that much cheese
person: *yelling* ITS FREE CHEESE
💯😂
next time ur embarrassed about something u did in the past just know that everyone remembers and still thinks about it too. in fact we were just talking about it the other night
Do I want to change career and uproot my entire life or is it just 6pm on a Sunday
There’s a serious limit in how much one can take
Mood: Shredding documents but realizing I didn’t double check if they were the correct ones and now frantically searching for the Undo button on the shredder
Weekend #HayaoMiyazaki
I’m concerned that some of you are experts in your fields of employment.
become ungovernable
