Live Photos capturing Matilda the sheep being an absolute attention hog 😂😂
N = Someone
O = Doesn’t
P = Understand
E = Acronyms
My son and I spent an hour debating whether werewolves have opposable thumbs in case you’re wondering who the great modern philosophers are.
There are two types of people in this world:
1) Good people
2) People who honk immediately when the red light turns green.
estão todos miauvindo?
How to make emails sound livid:
“As discussed”
“I thought we agreed”
“Regards”
“Thanks”
“I was under the impression”
“FYI”
“As per my email”
“With respect”
“Friendly reminder”
“Polite note”
“I was disappointed to…”
“Whilst I appreciate…”
“As I’m sure you’re aware”
a badder mouse
When I get a girlfriend, what do I feed it
Got him!
flight attendant: sir u r seated in an exit row, are u willing and able to xyz in case of emergency
the highest guy you have ever seen: yes
oh shit. came home & there is a giant cat in the bed
Not allowed to stay up past 10:30 or I start Googling things like “how to start donkey sanctuary”
If your bar serves those giant beers in a cowboy boot, I’m leaving. I hate gimmicks. I mean, I’ll drink the beer first, but then I’m out. Damn hipsters.
Rich people’s advice basically is like: Go be rich and follow your dreams while saving 90% of your salary