Maybe I just didn’t state this eloquently enough where’s my hammer?
Fruit doesn’t belong in ice cream. You’re eating the ice cream to get away from that.
Welcome to working from home. Something is now always being sawed, mowed, or jackhammered at your neighbor’s house.
this is my brain when people are trying to explain card game rules to me:
I was driving with my teenage niece and she turned on a band and said “they’re kinda underground, but I like them.”
Green Day, the band was Green Day.
do not take my piercings out for my funeral or i WILL be back
When I was a medical student, another med student asked, “Why are we admitting this guy to psychiatry for hearing voices? Everyone hears voices all the time.”
I think about this a lot.
cars have windows and can move. houses have windows and can’t move. so it’s not the windows that make the car go, it’s something else entirely
men’s fashion peaked in 1838
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought: “the streets are strangely desserted tonight”.
i think anyone who has ever had beautiful styled hair or tried to hold a big pile of leaves in their hands will know the trouble a gust of wind can cause.
Is it normal for a cat to get smarter? When Max was a kitten he was really dumb but now he reads at an 8th grade level
It’s settled. I’m measuring everything in comparison to the size of an American alligator.
