Falling in love with me is like cutting your own hair. As in you’ll regret it later.
I’m absolutely irreplaceable at my place of employment. As long as they never try replacing me with a block of wood.
My neighbor has a huge warehouse/shop and is alway in there banging away on something or doing stuff but never really producing anything. I just know that one day Dateline is going to interview me and ask if I knew what was going on in there…
How and why my FUR ROOM exists
My dog just came downstairs and made me go back to bed like he’s in charge of me or something.
Anyway, I’m back in bed now if anybody needs me
I came.
I saw.
I lost a banana.
In case of an emergency, eat fried chicken.
fondly reminiscing about the time i overslept for work by six hours and didn’t get fired
I’ve noticed eating popcorn during video calls tends to get them wrapped right up. Give it a go.
Airlines will call themselves Air France then fly from Costa Rica to Germany
Indoor weekend with a toddler whose sleep schedule is backsliding.
There really should be more social media sites that pit our closest friends against each other to make our top 8.
Son: It’s spring break, what are we doing?
Me: Working, “we” are working.