Ran in the store to get something healthy for breakfast
I got to tell you that this peanut butter, chocolate iced donut is delicious
Engraved on my tombstone:
No matter how the ground shakes
or what you hear,
please do not dig me up.Especially at night.
I just volunteered to take 7 teens on a fishing trip. Who am I, and what does one fish for, besides compliments?
Um … Hot Wings please
We’re all searching for that magical connection & mine came in the form of a chicken wing.
I’m not a 6. I’m two 3s in a trench coat.
No one:
Me trying to remember the person’s name I just met as they’re still talking:
Who needs an Air Fryer?
These are too funny not to post 😂
That guy who narrates the true crime shows has the most soothing voice. He should be reading bedtime stories or something but instead he’s saying stuff like “Then he cut off her head and dumped her car in the river” all chill and mellow.
Our kids are making us a special anniversary dinner and I’ve never not worked so hard in my life
My mental health after scrolling Twitter for approximately 8 seconds
I got plans this weekend. Release the sundresses!!!!
cats are difficult cuz you want to cuddle with them and they’re like this uneven piece of plastic on top of the hard counter is more comfortable.