So I taught myself how to juggle chainsaws from a YouTube video and let’s just say this took me twenty minutes to type out one handed
My best friend just sent me a picture she saw on Facebook and I was all like,”is this the new school board?” And she was like, “um, isn’t that your son and the mock trial team?”
Anyway, I’m a REALLY GREAT mom.
wishing you and yours all the best
self doubt: should I be this obsessed with lord of the rings
elf doubt: why didn’t rivendell share its prosperity with the rest of the races
Yeah yeah that virtual reality stuff is all fun & games til your flailing teen accidentally takes out a light fixture.
#DidYouKnow?
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “son you know one card would have been enough” . 😂🤣
You want me to eat this Caesar salad with this fork and knife you provided? You know what they did to Caesar with a knife?
Maybe the environment should adapt to accommodate our negligence did it ever think about that
Killing Eve is trending and I thought we had a new holiday.
“Hi, I’m Lucky, this is Bandit, and this is Shadow.”
– if people were named like pets
Hey i am sexy to you now
told someone i’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” then they blocked me immediately
Online dating is like having your option to date anyone inside of a Walmart
I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now
~ toddlers