road rage
Actually cracking up @ this
Had to try this trend 馃槉
I just had a customer shout at me OVER THE SOUND OF THE FIRE ALARM that it didn’t sound “right” so they “legally” didn’t have to leave
Just once i want to meet this mythical “always right” customer I BEG
I tried flirting with my hairdresser today.
I said, “Do you comb hair often?”
No way!
Dearest Twitter,
Man Flu hath landed upon mine shores.Scientifically proven to be a reality, tis lethal a condition that can befall any man. The lady companion of two decades denies its very existence and scorns my plight. Woe unto me and all men who find themselves afflicted.
By today’s standards the butts in Sir Mix-a-Lot’s video weren’t really that big.
He liked medium butts.
So he lied.
Friends: “Be ready at 7:30”
Me at 7:30:
Brenda had wanted to surprise her husband with a camouflage theme Christmas tree but it’s almost March and they still can’t find it.
If you were a burger, I鈥檇 throw you in the trash.
me: if only i could sleep AND get motion sickness
waterbed salesman: you’re not gonna believe this
8-year-old: *puts on new shoes* I’m faster now because they’re red.
Me: Your old shoes were red, too.
8: These are redder.