dating after 40 is like riding a bike uphill through a blazing inferno with flat tires.
RIP Medusa you would’ve hated selfies.
Interior design đź‘Ś
Guilty! 🤪
I’m “My dog gets in the pool more than anyone else in the family” years old.
Girl Scouts cookies went from $5 to $6 this year and I refuse to
ok I’ll buy 10 boxes
Victorian photographers like “Okay we have a two deceased relatives propped in chairs package or our popular one deceased, multiple poses plus family pet package. We can include coffins but the trend now is to have some fun capturing pics where it’s unclear who’s actually alive”
That moment when Exam Invigilator looks at your answer sheet and address whole class
“Students, please make sure that you are reading the questions carefully”
cleaned my whole house today and it turns out i’m disgusting.
Gotta love it when people get a half inch of snow and think the world is ending.
Canadian up.
#ProTip
I’m so broke right now, I’m gonna have to be renamed, “McDonald’s ice cream machine”.
My wife is mad at me because I gave up looking for one particular black sock in a basket full of socks and after having pulled 7 different black socks out I quit.
You are what you eat? I’m about to become sandals
