Fact: ants can lift 20 times their body weight, more if a bro is spotting them.
Listen, I didn’t even want this piece of pre-workout pizza, but athletes have to make sacrifices.
Sad news for all of us remembering Princess Diana’s death 25 years ago today, and also for any girls born on that day who are now too old for Leonardo DiCaprio.
Never forget when I saw CHILD’S PLAY (2019) at a drive in theater on a screen directly next to the one playing TOY STORY 4 and the pure horror on the kids faces when they would look over and see the toys absolute BUTCHERING people
Maybe having my husband talk to my son about how he shouldn’t be running a fantasy football league with his friends at school was a bad idea because my husband’s first question was, “What’s the buy in?”
Your preoccupation with Hugh Jackman, Hugh Grant and Hugh Laurie is irritating. Why do you have to make everything about Hugh?
Doctor: so your blood type is-
Vampire: ALL of them
[dating site message]
So is that blank silhouette in your profile a recent blank silhouette?
in case you thought I was an intellect know that I almost threw away a carrot because it touched the ground
Need cheering up? If you watch Jaws backwards, it’s a heartwarming story about a massive shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
With less than 1 day to go..
Mummy, I want everything that is art in the whole world for Christmas. Ok?
God gives his worst wrapping skills to his strongest gift givers
Someone told me their kid was 20 months old so I told them my dog is 14 months old, they weren’t impressed
No. YOU-buprofen.
My ex husband went to buy a lotto ticket & never came back, I guess he won, haven’t see him in over 20 years