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Don鈥檛 make me out nice you.
I sprung into action when a coworker was choking during lunch. I moved him into the next room, so I could eat in peace and quiet
boss: you’re working very efficiently
me: oh thanks
boss: so I’m giving you more work
me: wait no you’ve misunderstood why I was being efficient
Me: Knowing everything we do about medcine and health, I cant believe people still smoke!!
Also me: Is four boxes of Swiss Cake Rolls enough for the weekend?
馃槀 amazing answer
Boys will tell you “wow you sound like an Angel” and you鈥檒l be blushing like werey. Instead of asking him when he don hear Angel voice before
Facebook’s targeted ads think I have a cat.
I don’t, but I visited a friend with one and talked about it out loud.
The most powerful spy software in the world is trying to sell me kitty litter.
Skynet is here and it’s lame as hell.
We鈥檙e playing Mario party and the boys keeps intentionally referring to Luigi as Louis and it鈥檚 making me irrationally angry.
I watched a YouTube video about six signs you have depression and are not just lazy. I鈥檓 happy to report that apparently, I鈥檓 just lazy.
two guys fighting over oars are just having a row it took me 3 hours to write this crap send tweet
Them: You need to get a sense of humor.
Me: You need to say something funny.
FRENCH IS A MYTH INVENTED BY THE GOVERNMENT TO MAKE US BUY MORE ENGLISH
Neighbors act like they鈥檝e never seen someone wearing a bath towel, chasing after a Garbage Truck before.