i am genuinely afraid for the people who post on the shitty food reddit
I wouldn’t usually disagree with Gordon Ramsay but i was watching him judge this carrot cake & I think the contestant was perhaps correct
this husky was supposed to learn how to swim, but discovered that she could just float instead
(jukin media)
By far the dumbest thing I’ve made
went into the office today to catch up w my boss and he was like “i can tell you’re really intelligent” couldnt work up the courage to tell him its just a little bit of psychology and pretending to look focused while he talks 80% of the time
I’m not super useful until I’ve had coffee, then I get jittery followed by a caffeine crash. At 11 I’m too hungry to think then I get post-lunch sleepies. By afternoon my brain is fried but for 25 minutes each day – I’m the best employee here and they’re lucky to have me.
Me: My mom’s famous hot chocolate recipe involved making a bowl of Cocoa Puffs, eating the Cocoa Puffs, then heating up the leftover milk, and topping it with the marshmallows from Lucky charms. Occasionally she’d give us cookie crisp to dunk
Red lobster waiter: we have shrimps
*at the red lobster*
me: i will have the red lobster
waiter: okay
I don’t care if you talk behind my back. Just speak up so I can hear you too.
I’ve just realized… gun to my head and i have to spell diarrhea… I’m dead
People who blame autocorrect for their mistakes are just finger painting
I have to pick my dad up from work tonight, how the turntables. I wonder what embarrassing things I can do when I pull up to his place of business
WhatsApp: Here use this status – “At the Gym”
Me: you wish!