Website: you must be of legal age to view this content. What year were you born?
Me at age 11 (playing it safe): 1753
Thoughts and prayers to my daughter who wrote a sentence that didn’t fit on one line.
Bad news world, my biker gang ‘The Sons Of Panicky’ are finally back out on the streets and oh my god the traffic is SO heavy, maybe we should go back and try again tomorrow
My Cheese Blintzes exploded in my hair, and now it looks like I had more fun than I actually did!!!
Ugh, my boyfriend got me flowers even tho I explicitly asked for cash
My soon to be 13-year-old has been wearing my crocs… how do you say “stay in your lane” in Thirteenese?
Do men still open car doors?
That 👊
“you’re odd”
“you are also odd”
“yes”
“so we’re even”
Must. Not. Reply. To. That. Rhetorical. Question, Ahhh.
Ok, the temptation passed. You’re safe.
Pushed together 3 piles of my wife’s clothes on the floor to vacuum and boy was that a mistake.
i hired a cleaning lady but when she got here she refused to wash me like a dog
Nobody:
My kid: I want my nickname to now be Hot Dogs.
Me: Uh oh there’s my ex girlfriend. Quick, will you hold my hand so I can make her jealous?
Great grandma: No.