[ DURING SEX ]
Me: Who’s a bad hand!?
*Puts on Kool-aid guy pitcher costume outside of a bank*
Friend: This isn’t going to work.
Me: Bank vault here I come. *Charges at wall*
Me: I just want to taste your chapstick 😏
Her: oh.. 😉 *leans in for a kiss*
Me: *eating her chapstick* oh.
Her: oh.
I don’t shower before work, they don’t deserve my soap.
servant: what size should I make the bed?
king: like this *spreads arms*
wait.
Beware…..
Connor Sadzeck Connor Happyzeck
Please don’t get vaccinated. There’s way too many of you.
a rare painting of a dragon eating spaghetti
*returns shopping cart*
“When I’m in Heaven I wonder if God will seat me to His right or His left?”
My oldest chicken is going through henopause
A shampoo bottle upside-down in the shower is basically your low-fluid indicator light.
Sunday